I'm reading a book right now called To Be Told by Dan Allender. He talks about the concept of shalom - a sense of peace; "shalom often comes in a moment of tranquility and innocence....shalom is simultaneously invigorating and restful. It stirs and calms. It can bring the heart to a rest that may lead to sleep, but it is more likely to draw us to awe and wonder."
This morning I both witnessed and experienced a sense of shalom. I was feeding my seven week old and he had just finished eating. He let go of his neck muscles, letting his head sway with the rocking of the chair. His face was messy, covered in milk. He wasn't at all tense, just relaxed with smiles breaking out every so often. He almost always eats with his eyes closed, and his eyes were closed at this moment. I'm never really sure if he's awake or asleep. He just looked utterly content and at peace with the world. Seeing him like that gave me a sense of peace and contentment too.
I'll miss moments like this when I go back to work next week. Nothing work can offer compares to experiences like this. Eight weeks is such a short amount of time, even though it feels like forever since I've been at work. I never expected to want to stay home once we had a baby, but now I understand why so many women have said that everything changes once the baby comes. I don't feel like the 'work' chapter of my life is over - that and it makes sense for us practically for me to be working, so I'll be heading back next week. I just wonder how much I'll be distracted, wondering how my son is doing, wishing I could experience a little shalom once again.
